Rest In Peace, Ty Woods.

Husband. Father. Navy SEAL. And...goofy kid in my Math class. High school wrestler I took stats for. 

American patriot who died in Benghazi last week.

Thank you for your service, Ty-Guy.

This is how I will remember him. Go Pioneers!

Little Mister and the First Day

Little Mister, at the Science Museum in the middle of the
day, in the middle of the week. I will really miss that.

I woke up last night at 1:00 a.m..

I had been alternately looking forward to and dreading today. Today is the first day of school ever, for my youngest child. Aka “Little Mister.”

He has been my companion during the day for five and a half years. His little tugs on my shirt, his out-of-the-blue hugs, his “just one more book before nap” days of being my exclusive little buddy have come and gone. So have our Tuesday morning trips to the Zoo, the park, wherever we wanted to go.

He has never seen the inside of a day care. He has only seen me.

Yes, I have unfinished projects I will be working on this year, now that all four of my kiddos are in school. I will volunteer more at the school too. I'm writing a book. Ect, ect, ect.

But I will forever cherish the “toddler years.” Being a Mommy is the Best. Thing. Ever.

"But...EVERYONE DESERVES A TROPHY!!!" Part One

No, they don't.

When my eldest child was seven years old, we were shopping at our local grocery store when I noticed they were having a coloring contest. I thought back to my own childhood and the fond memories I had of entering coloring contests, even winning one when I was five. I spent a week coloring my picture and making it perfect. My prize was a huge Easter basket full of candy and treats. I might as well have won a million dollars. Even at a young age, I was proud of my effort and so excited to have been rewarded.

We brought home the Halloween coloring page. It was a picture of a Fall scene with pumpkins, hay stacks and a wagon. I watched as my little girl meticulously selected just the right crayons, colored as closely in the lines as she could and tirelessly worked around the clock for two days. I saw her determination to do her very best.

We turned in her entry and a couple weeks later went back to the store. We were excited to see the winners were posted! As I scanned the display in the age 7-8 category, I was shocked to see the winning entry: There was thick, black crayon markings scribbled across the entire page. That was it. No other colors, no staying in the lines... My child had given 110%, and this was judged the very best and awarded first place. As I looked closer, I saw the fine print listed at the bottom of the page: 

Winner shall be chosen by random drawing.

Winner. Random. 

And so began a change in my thinking about success, equal opportunities, American exceptionalism and wealth.

To be continued...

The Up-Side of Lou Gehrig's Disease...

Robin's high school graduation photo, 1961

At the end of March 2003, my dear uncle Robin Tomlin drove down from his home in Surrey, British Columbia to where I live in the northwestern United States. My father's only sibling was a decorated U.S. Marine who flew more than 1,150 combat missions in Vietnam and was awarded fifty-nine air medals. He had retired a few years earlier after a twenty-five year career with the FBI. I had always been close to Robin. Every summer during high school, I would fly to Albuquerque and stay with his family. In the past few years, we became huge emailers. We were the only Republicans in the family and thus exchanged many of those dreaded political forwards. He was my second Dad. :)

This quick trip was a little different. Robin had just turned sixty in January, and he wasn't aging well. He looked very tired. We took some pictures and I hugged him goodbye. I had been intending to drive up to Canada and visit him, but you know how we get busy. There's always tomorrow, right? Right.

Upon returning to Canada, Robin emailed me. He had been diagnosed with Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS), otherwise known as Lou Gehrig's Disease. He had been diagnosed before he came to visit, yet never said a word.

Lou Gehrig, I thought. 

Lou Gehrig...Pride of the Yankees...wait...WHAT???!!!

Robin receiving the Distinguished Flying Cross for Bravery, 1969

I cried for three days. Then I pulled it together, reminding myself that many ALS patients live for five to ten years post-diagnosis.

Robin lived exactly one year longer.

Robin holding me as a baby, 1972. We both look a little unsure of the situation, LOL.

During that year, I did the things which I had been meaning to do, but never got around to. I wrote up some memoirs and sent them to him for his last Christmas of 2003. I wrote about my very first plane trip in 1986. Robin was with me and I recalled sitting in the Portland Airport with him, spilling my hot cocoa all over myself with nervousness. He said that happened to him all the time (nope, it didn't!). We boarded the plane and proceeded to sit on the tarmac for three hours due to a malfunction. We eventually boarded a different Boeing. All the while, Robin reassured me that everything was fine, as though every flight began with a three hour wait on the aircraft with no A/C!

Robin's appointment to the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation was one of the final acts of J. Edgar Hoover.

I also made him a huge scrapbook of his life, from his time growing up with my father in Oregon, to his days as a Marine, to serving in the FBI and raising his family. He actually called me and said it was the most beautiful gift he had ever received. I had meant to make that scrapbook years before...

Me (rockin' the 80's Aquanet hair) at age 14 with my cousins Rob, Trent and Uncle Robin.

On March 16, 2004, I was rushing out the door with my three-year-old son when the phone rang. Normally, I would have just left. But I followed my gut instinct and answered the call. It was Robin. His speech was slurred, but we had a wonderful chat. He talked with my son. Then I got back on the line. I told him I had to run, but that I loved him. 

Long pause. 

“I... love... you... too........... Julie............"

A couple days later, he slipped into a coma from which he never awakened.

Robin and his wife Julie, somewhere in British Columbia.
This was taken shortly before he started having symptoms of ALS.

I am so grateful for that year. I'm thankful for the time ALS allowed us to have with Robin. Looking back, the advance warning was a blessing - the "upside" of Lou Gehrig's disease. (Seriously...there is a silver lining in everything!!!) We are all going to die. Some of us will live to be one hundred. Some of us will go suddenly at twenty-three. Either way, there are only so many days allotted to each one of us here, and then that's it. There are no do-overs. Make it count...!

You never know who will be here today and gone tomorrow. I'm grateful for Robin's diagnosis and the reminder of mortality. ALS told me: “You have limited time on Earth left with Robin. It's time to call him more regularly. It's time to write. It's time to do that scrapbook. I will decide when he goes and this is your notice. Consider yourself warned.”

And because of the knowledge of mortality, I cannot stand for there to be "bad blood" between me and anyone else. (Note: If I ever meet President Obama, I will make him dinner and welcome him in my home). I do not want to live with regrets. I don't want to say something hurtful I cannot take back later. I don't want to miss opportunities to love my friends and family.

If there is someone you need to make things right with, please do it! Saying it now will be much more effective than speaking to a gravesite in the future. Make it right even if you are not in the wrong. I guarantee if someone has offended you, they aren't thinking about it anymore. When you forgive and move on, then you are set free. 

Tell people you love them! I believe at the end of our lives we regret that which we do not say, much more than that which we say.

Write that letter. Make that phone call. Create that scrapbook. Say what needs to be said.

Robin, I miss you. I will not give up until you receive the Silver Star you were nominated for! You know me. I'm working on it – but this IS the United States Government I am dealing with. Soooo......ya......... :)

With love always,      

 ~Julie

Robin J. Tomlin, Distinguished Flying Cross Link

ALS Association Website

Fresh Salsa is the BEST!

        My seven-year-old really wanted to make something in the kitchen the other day with me. She got on her pink princess apron and was ready to go. We were having an unusual eighty degree day and I really didn't want to bake...so we created some salsa. I had never attempted salsa sans tomatoes, but I didn't have any tomatoes so including them wasn't an option.

        Fresh cilantro and fresh lime is mandatory; other than that, why not create your own? Besides Mexican food, fresh salsa is great on fish, chicken, pita chips, eggs...next time you are shopping, grab some fresh ingredients (kiwis are perfect!) and start chopping and dicing. Yes, it takes time but bring in one of your kids and chat about school and life while you are creating your masterpiece. Remember: The kitchen brings families together. :)

                    Peach-Pineapple Salsa for Summer

1 cup finely chopped fresh pineapple

1 cup diced fresh peaches

1 cup diced cucumber

1/2 cup diced red bell pepper

1/2 cup diced green bell pepper

1 cup frozen corn kernels, thawed

3/4 cup chopped onions

1- 4 oz can diced green chiles

1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro (or more to taste)

1 lime

1/2 teaspoon ground cumin

salt and pepper to taste

            In a large bowl, combine first 9 ingredients. Cut open lime and squeeze over salsa until all juice is extracted. Season with salt, pepper and cumin. Cover and chill in the refrigerator until ready to serve.

Texas Style Glazed BBQ Pork Ribs

There are a hundred different recipes for ribs, and I myself have at least a dozen ways I prepare them. My favorite way involves all-day basting every 30 minutes, usually with beef short ribs. But I love baby backs, spare ribs, St. Louis cuts, ect.

Boneless country-style ribs are very inexpensive and can be prepared without basting. Although some prep ahead of time is necessary, I like this recipe for glazed ribs because the ingredients are very simple and everyone has them. If you want the BBQ flavor, just baste at the end with your favorite barbecue sauce. My kids usually just like them with the glaze; I add the sauce to mine. If you have never made ribs with a dry rub ahead of time, I think you are missing out! You can also grill ribs on the barbie after roasting in the oven for authentic flavor.

Texas Glazed Country-Style Ribs

3-4 lbs Country-Style Pork Ribs

¾ cup white sugar

1/8 cup salt

1 TB ground pepper

1 ½ TB paprika

1 TB garlic powder

*If you like heat, you can add a dash of cayenne, but I never do

Clean ribs and trim any excess fat. In a medium bowl, combine sugar, salt, ground black pepper, paprika and garlic powder. In a 9 x 13 pan (or a gallon zip-loc if the ribs will fit) liberally coat the ribs with ALL the dry rub. Refrigerate for at least eight hours (I usually just put them in the night before).

Put ribs in roasting pan (you can also use a foil covered 9 x 13 but I like the roasting pan better) and heat oven to 275 degrees. This may seem low, but remember that the temperature inside the roasting pan will be much higher. Bake in oven for 3-4 hours, checking every hour to ensure ribs do not become dry. They should be very moist and fall apart. Serve with mashed potatoes, coleslaw and warm rolls.

Note: Sweet sauces tend to work better with pork ribs, and savory with beef. If you want to try a unique BBQ sauce, try this one. It's based off of a famous BBQ restaurant in Montreal Canada called Bar-B-Barn, and contains apple sauce. I thought it was odd the first time I tried it, but it has grown on me. :)

Jamba Juice Pumpkin Smash

I noticed that swimwear is showing up in department stores already. Summer is my favorite season. Where I live, it's our only three months of sun! I'm not quite ready to let go of Fall, though. When K was in town last month, she googled a recipe for Jamba Juice's famous Pumpkin Smash. I've made it several times since and it is soooo good. I did make a couple adjustments, which I will note. This is an easy smoothie to make and will let you enjoy pumpkin season a bit longer.

Pumpkin Smash Smoothie

1 cup almond milk (original version calls for soy milk)

2 cups vanilla frozen yogurt

3/4 cup canned pumpkin pie mix with the spices (like Libbys). You could double this for extra pumpkin flavor

8-12 ice cubes, depending on how thick you like your smoothies

Pour almond milk into blender. Add pumpkin, frozen yogurt and ice cubes. Blend. So easy!

OM NOM NOM NOM

Losing Whitney

I normally don't get caught up in the lives of Hollywood celebrities. I have my favorites, of course,  and I've actually been to Hollywood a few times. But I don't idolize them. I don't get involved in their lives in my mind, because many of them make outrageous choices and simply put, I just don't care what they're doing most of the time. They're just people who are famous. But when I heard Whitney Houston died yesterday, I felt a part of my childhood die along with her. I actually cried.

“The Greatest Love Of All” helped me through a few difficult years. I had held my tape recorder close to my gigantic radio and waited for Magic 107 to play it, then I recorded the song (simultaneously holding down the "record" and "play" buttons) on a cassette tape (if you don't know what a cassette tape is, stop reading and google "seventies" - look up 8-tracks while you're there...). I played it over and over. Specifically the line “I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows” spoke to me. I felt I needed to be more like this girl at school, or that girl in my neighborhood. Whitney told me that it was okay to just be me. I wasn't always content with that...but sometimes that's being a teenager. :)

I was really pulling for Whitney Houston to make it. She gave me that very special song (along with songwriters Michael Masser and Linda Creed). Rest in peace Whitney, and thank you from a former thirteen-year-old girl.  

Heaven on Earth

“Keep your eyes open...don't fall asleep Julie...”

I was reading my five-year-old son Goodnight Gorilla, one of his favorite stories. My eyes were struggling to stay open. I had been awakened the previous night, Christmas Eve, at 2 a.m. by my college daughter who was home visiting. She was standing in my room laughing hysterically.

“Mom...” tries to control giggling...” R threw up in the bunk bed (on the top bunk) and it's running down the walls! Ha ha ha...” She was deliriously tired too and found the entire situation hilarious. Then she went back to bed and I got up to assess the damage.

Gross.

I had barely fallen asleep after filling the stockings and nibbling Santa's cookies. I tried to comfort my sick child and not fall back asleep. I spent Christmas at home cleaning up while everyone else went to church. Then Christmas night, I found myself reading Goodnight Gorilla and thinking about life.

Fortunately I've read that cute gorilla story so many times I could recite it from memory, and my little son didn't seem to notice my intermittent yawning. After we were finished, he wanted to snuggle and my mind began to wander...

I have admittedly struggled with the “What ifs...” of my past. What if I had stayed in college? What if I had moved away from home and pursued a career? What if I hadn't become a mother so young? I see other young women waiting to start their families and I have wondered, could that have been me? It has been a struggle in my heart at times. The job of motherhood is a challenging one. It's hard to be responsible for others 24/7. It's hard to be so sleep deprived that you feel like you're floating above your body. It's hard to drown in the laundry and dishes. It's hard to embrace my little ones constant needs with the cheerfulness and love they deserve.

But I know what God wants me to do is embrace what is right in front of me. It's these sweet little faces that are always happy to see me, no matter what. It's knowing that my kisses can seemingly heal all wounds. It's teaching my little boy a new word, and seeing the delight in his eyes as he learns to read like his brothers and sisters. It's knowing that I don't need the approval of the entire world to know what is right for me. Being a Mom at home is right for me. I will not question the timing of it, or allow my mind to entertain thoughts of anything I may have missed out on.

This work of raising children is Heavenly work. What you Stay-At-Home-Moms are doing is changing the world! Please don't waste your time wishing for more, chasing after money, desiring greater influence or lingering on past mistakes. Don't waste these years, for they will never come again. Your kids love you because you are their Mommy, not because you are successful in the eyes of society. Like, who cares what Gloria Steinem thinks? When was the last time you saw a happy picture of that woman. Be faithful to who you are. This is the work you were born to do. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise.

Make your home a Heaven on Earth.